Nicky is AMPERSAND JONES

Challonge accepted

2011-01-04T01:00:00.003-05:00

Ok, so it's not really a challenge that Donwill presented on his blog, but more so an opportunity for me (and others) to document and share my year, all its mundanities and bright moments, one day at a time.

Feel free to follow me (hopefully I'll make it to a year) over at 365ers.com.

Oh by the way, Hello. How are you? Long time no speak.

I realized in creating a profile for the site, I should use the domain I pay for (ampersandjones.com... this space) more regularly.
I've fallen in like with the ease of tumblr, meanwhile this poor blog just sits and waits for me to say something substantial.
Something related to my music career.
I've placed too much importance on posting, forgetting about the importance of just being around.

Anywho.

Happy New Year. Come look for me somewhere on the interwebs.

2010-07-26T13:53:00.004-04:00

#PROGRESS

2010-06-18T13:05:00.003-04:00

(click to play, obviously)

Comments are OFF, again.

2010-06-16T21:45:00.003-04:00

Why do people/companies SPAM still?

I must admit, the new school spammers are getting crafty. Doing that I'll draw you in by saying something that looks semi relevant to the post then immediate HARD sale and link.

Who falls for that?

Anyway. Tired of cleaning up after all that mess.

If you wanna talk to me/make a comment, go ask me something on Tumblr.

Sidebar

2010-06-15T21:02:00.002-04:00

I'm cheating on you.

Find me for mid range blogging over at:

ampersandjones.tumblr.com

Funny, she looks just like Nicole to me

2010-06-15T19:11:00.004-04:00

2009 © Dennis de Groot

Can't remember who asked recently, but I was questioned about Ampersand Jones.
Whats her M.O?
Where'd she come from and why is she here?

I couldn't answer anymore.

To be truthful, Amp Jones popped up right as I entered a heavy (no pun) personal growth period.
The alias afforded me freedoms that I didn't realize were waiting for the taking. With her, I split my already fractured personality and creative vision. Let her lip pop on her own blog (since closed)** and lived in both reality and fantasy.

Amp Jones is 3 years younger than I am. She even had a different voice. That's... special.

I blame the "industry".

Anywho, along the ride, I decided Amp would be an artistic outlet. Pictures and stuff. Concept shoots and things with photographer friends.
That will happen eventually, but my drive behind that venture stalled after finances and life took precedence.

Now Ampersand quietly sits in her corner, becoming just another handle online, adding to identity confusion. (Are you Amp Jones/N./N. icky/Nicole?)

Sort of want to be Nicky again. Well, not like I ever stopped being me. Not like I'm really abandoning Ampersand Jones. I'm just proud to be ME again.

A woman of many faces. Ideas. Names. Dreams. Facets. Etc. Etc. Etc.

** While Sanderson's Blogspot is long gone, feel free to visit my old myspace blog. If you wish.

Will i still love me tomorrow?

2010-06-07T21:11:00.004-04:00

2006 © Anna Keenan Photography

Quick thought.

(future) Mothers, love yourself now.
Your body image and the actions you take to care for yourself, speak louder than telling your (future) daughters they are beautiful & perfect just the way they are.

I realized recently that I do not want to spend the rest of my life envying my old self, romanticizing my physical condition from as little as 5 -10 years ago.

With each decade that passes, the person I was, always seems "perfect".
So if that's so, future me says I'm perfect right now.
Physically.

Just hope I'll still feel this way, tomorrow.

its a pattern

2010-06-05T01:51:00.002-04:00

i disappear. i come back. i disappear again.

I'm speaking about my online presence but it surely carries over to my "real" life.

Its a terrible habit that just confirms the worst in me.
Each time I leave for a number of reasons that guarded Scorpio me will not share.
Ironically, each time I return its with a renewed spirit and a resolution to let people in.

Will I do it this time? Will I keep up with letting my guard down?

I've got some thoughts kicking around my mind. Questions and new paths to walk.
Will I document it? Here? Should I jump ship over to a Saved Space I have on tumblr?
Kinda tired of Bloggers layout.
Layouts don't matter much.
Just feels antiquated.
We'll see.

I'll try a little better.

checklist

2010-05-28T01:51:00.004-04:00

• change program.
• change focus.
• change mind.
• change life.

simple.

photo © George Gomez

Who were you at 6?

2010-05-24T15:52:00.002-04:00

Are you still that person?

Some Folks. May 27th. 2010

2010-05-22T23:04:00.001-04:00

Stop on by.
Oh, and stop by somefolks.tumblr.com for free music, video, pictures etc.

Bright Moments. Right Now.

2010-05-05T23:59:00.002-04:00

Rahsaan Roland Kirk with
Hilton Ruiz (p), Henry Pete Pearson (b), Sonny Brown (d), Todd Barkan (perc).
Montreux Jazz Festival,"Casino De Montreux", Switzerland
July 18, 1975.

Visually obsessed

2010-04-29T17:29:00.004-04:00

I stare at these images almost daily and endorse all of these albums.

Go find them somewhere. There's magic on all of them.
Some more than others.

BASHBASHBASH

2010-04-20T23:39:00.004-04:00

broke a stick. i'll buy more.

btw. don't take this too seriously.

woke up with a blazing vision

2010-04-15T23:11:00.002-04:00

random image semi unrelated to the post © Anna Keenan 2006

i saw the stage show.
i heard the material.
i saw the outfit.
and the hair.

good dream.

now i'm on a mission to realize it all.

Ap.10.2010

2010-04-13T01:36:00.002-04:00

NYc: SOME FOLKS April 22nd. 2010

2010-04-09T13:57:00.003-04:00

Quickly posting this flyer before my rehearsal starts.
As usual, NYc, I highly recommend attending.

Comedy Below Canal™ Presents: Some Folks
92YTribeca Mainstage
$12 in advance/$15 at the door
Show Time: 9PM

Wyatt Cenac. Kristen Schaal.
Spec Boogie
&
DJ Brainchild

Drinks & Jokes & Music.

Advance Tickets Sold Here:
http://www.92y.org/shop/92Tri_event_detail.asp?category=92Tri+92YTribeca+Comedy888&productid=T-MM5CM29

Juggle. Juggle. Juggle.

Brb.

Confession. i dread describing my music.

2010-04-01T17:30:00.006-04:00

We all do.

A couple weeks back, I got an evite to attend a listening party.
An artist I'm not familiar with so I read the descriptive paragraph. After being accosted by the string of random adjectives, stitched together by every possible genre under the sun... I was turned off. And tired.

Something like... NeonBLoozSike-adelicTripHippieHopfolkzRnbeeNeoNusoulGhettoRock

What is that? And you/i/we wonder why no one "gets" you.

See I included myself in that category. I'm guilty as well. In doing your best to describe "your sound", you string together your list of influences, thinking... hey, the reader will get what I'm getting at.

wrong.

Or you think... I'm so awesome that I NEED to create a new genre, blaze a new trail that only I can label.

wrong again.

It all gets boiled down to something short. Sweet. Accessible.

Now, I can go into how actively placing yourself outside of all boxes/making space for only you, alienates larger audiences/record labels.
[Oh another confession... we ALL want mass appeal, otherwise we'd make music as a hobby for friends/family and we wouldn't bother trying to label it.]
I won't talk labels and "labels"... I've never been signed to one so maybe my opinions are off base there.
Sidetracks me from discussing our hodge podge genres.

Rather than creating a classification, why not redefine the ones we have?

Yes, there are artists out there that in time will go down in the annals of history as genre bending and creating new forms of sound.
but.
how many will come out the box both embracing the label created and predefining that new sound as what they do? Who they are?
how many continue to use the classifications they created?
Do people continue to call Outkast's music Southernplayalisticcadillacmusik?

This is probably my age speaking.
The more seasoned I become, the more I understand something said.
There's 2 genres, Sacred and Jazz.
I see it a little wider than that, but I get it.

I'm not saying don't think outside the box. Just call what it is, what it is.

Take all that creative labeling energy and put it in a song. Let it speak for itself.

i can't blog anymore.

2010-03-27T00:50:00.004-04:00

© Anna Keenan Photography

You guys miss me?
Guess that's another conversation.

I'm certain I've said all that I'd usually follow up with, so I'll just cut to the chase and say something worthwhile.

I'm back to work with Case.
We're writing and recording.
Yes, HEAVy broke up. It wasn't a stunt. We weren't working. But now we are.
All of this leads up to a name change.
And refocusing.

Once we have something to show, we'll let you know whats up.

Phone Clean #4

2010-03-15T22:31:00.007-04:00

We need to talk.

2010-02-23T22:20:00.002-05:00

you and me.
about some things.
don't know how to say what i'm thinking yet, though.

the last time i had something this heartfelt to say, i should've held my tongue a bit longer.
should've waited to find better words.
or for things to change again.

just know. you and me. soon we'll talk.

don't worry. i won't hurt you again.

n.

Patuscada De Ganghi

2010-02-22T13:13:00.003-05:00

Not much else gets me started like this song here.
Ok, excluding a couple of road marches, Hum Along And Dance and a few other tunes.

Love Gilberto.
Back on my quest to find a couple of his obscure tunes.

thanks, train stranger.

2010-02-12T20:41:00.004-05:00

Long story short, a couple weeks back I spoke up for a little girl getting roughed up by her dad, on the subway.

I'm not one for butting into peoples parenting. I don't have kids and from friends and family I understand sometimes what might seem excessive, really just is whats called for.
But.
When you see a parent pounding on a kid just because they're 7 and a bit fidgety, I can't and didn't stand by quietly.

After telling the dad to stop... and the 7 y.old telling me to shut up, I silenced myself and held my anger and tears in.

Once they left, a fellow passed me this note.

thank you stranger for reminding me who I am.

2.08 = 10.Thirty

2010-02-09T23:18:00.003-05:00

SOME FOLKS 02.18 Line up + thoughts

2010-02-09T20:15:00.005-05:00

Gretchen Parlato © Jeaneen Lund

Producing a show is so very foreign to me, but I'm enjoying it.
While it does bring up some strange emotions from time to time, it's all very good.
Let's me keep flexible and exercises other sides of my personality.
I bring to each show the same amount of passion I would to my own and experience a sense of pride for the acts I get up there.

When I have a little more time and am feeling wistful again, I'll elaborate, but for now, this is enough.
NYc: Consider coming.
No.
Show up. Its good stuff on a Thursday night.
Oh, and Join our FACEBOOK page.

February 18th
Comedy Below Canal™ Presents: Some Folks
92YTribeca Mainstage
200 Hudson St.
$12 in advance/$15 at the door
Show Time: 9PM

WYATT CENAC hosts, featuring:

ANTHONY JESELNIK
is a comedian featured on HBO, his 1/2-hour Comedy Central special, and is currently a writer for "Late Night w/ Jimmy Fallon"

www.anthonyjeselnik.com/

And

GRETCHEN PARLATO Band
Jazz & World music vocalist, Gretchen Parlato's voice is a thing of wonder. Awardee of the the 2004 Thelonious Monk competition for Jazz vocals, Parlato has recorded and performed with Terence Blanchard, Kenny Barron, Esperanza Spalding, Lionel Loueké, Sean Jones, DJ Khalil, and Cut Chemist among others. She tours regularly with her band in the US, Europe, Asia and Australia and is currently promoting her CD "In A Dream", available on Obliqsound Records.

Gretchen Parlato - vocals
Taylor Eigsti - Piano
Alan Hampton - Bass
Kendrick Scott - Drums

http://www.gretchenparlato.com/

Guest DJ
DJ BRAINCHILD
http://www.gordongartrellradio.com

Ni Hao

2010-01-30T01:03:00.003-05:00

next week.

2010-01-24T01:16:00.001-05:00

i will work with CB.

on what? who knows.

but.

i will work with CB. again.

This entry, while it is the shortest, might be the most informative.

Phone clean #3

2010-01-24T01:01:00.003-05:00

Stay. Hungry

2010-01-19T15:54:00.002-05:00

Click the still to watch and check out more of the 1980 (Talking Heads) concert footage here.

KELIS WILL WEAR AND EAT PANDAS *

2010-01-14T16:40:00.003-05:00

*No, not really. Just wanted a reason to post Peanut (everybody's favorite baby) in a Panda suit I bought him.

LOVING Kelis right now. This broad has always had big golden bawls... but as she enters her 30's... think they've gone platinum. Possibly diamond encrusted.

Read the statement she gives RE: her love of fur and PETA's request to retract her words.
Can't say (as an avid animal luhver) I fault her.

I'm dying over here.

Kelis' Letter to PETA

Good morning all!

Ok, so you’re gonna love this. The other day I got a personalized letter from PETA! Lol so after some thought I've decided to write one back. Goes a little something like this:

There is no humane way to kill anything, let me start there. It’s unfortunate but it’s part of life. With that being said, I would eat pterodactyl if you found some and you told me it was meaty and delicious. And after doing a very minimal amount of research....... I found out that the founder Ingrid Newkirk is completely batty. I had a feeling but she far exceeded my expectations. I mean certifiably insane! Lol this chicks will is nuts, google it – it’s a riot! Beyond the fact that I think she's a diabetic, which means she needs insulin, which is taken from lab pigs (I know this because my sister happens to be in veterinary school), which would be completely hypocritical. It’s like don't abuse animals unless it can help me.

I feel very strongly about a lot of things such as the sweatshops that spin cotton and the blood on their hands. Btw it’s not just the look of fur. It’s warm as hell and feels glorious, ever rubbed faux fur on your body? Nothing luxurious about that. Then the letter proceeded to name artist and designers who don't wear real fur. Great! More for me! I don't judge them, don't judge me.

If I started wearing endangered animals like polar bear or orangutan then talk to me. (Which btw for the record I would not - I do believe in the preservation of endangered species) But the minks and chinchilla that quite honestly are rodents and if weren't in the form of a coat I would demand they be put to death anyway are not an issue to me.

The death of high fashion. Ugh.

I eat meat, and in fact my mouth salivates as I type the word meat! And the paint throwing that's just ridiculous! What if I was hurling Loubitons and Pierre Hardy's at every sad poorly dressed person on the street? As right as I may be it’s just fanatical and crazy. And people have the right to feel as they please. What about art? Survival of the fittest. Natural selection? No let's just let all the rodents run free and over take our cities. Oh wait they have, NY and LA in particular are infested! Why don't u save them all from scavenging on the streets and ruining my evening strolls, take them home. Make them pets! Get off my back! Pun intended!

Underpaid minorities picking your vegetables, now that's fine for you right? Please, fight for their rights. How about the poverty in the communities of brown people around the world. She had the nerve to say (and I quote) "get over it" talking of the issue of black people and slavery in this country verses cows being slaughtered. Is she kidding me? Lol yes she must be. Actually, she's lucky most black people have real issues to worry about in the U.S and don't give a crap what her delusional privileged opinions are. But she should try saying that again just for kicks n giggles on the corner of Adam Clayton Powell Blvd in Harlem n see how well people "get over it" lol.

If u want to preach do it about something worthwhile don't waste my time trying to save the dang chipmunk.

Find a worthwhile cause like the women being maimed in these Middle Eastern countries. Or female circumcision. Or women's rights here in America, we still get paid less for doing the same jobs as men. Quite honestly if you hate the world so much go live in the forest where no one else has to hear you complain about the perfectly good food chain the good Lord created. Everyone has the right to an opinion, and that's mine on that! xoxo

taken from Kelis' blog

NYC: More Ways to HELP Haiti

2010-01-14T14:44:00.003-05:00

Tara is a very good friend of mine. I trust her word that these listings below are reputable and have all intentions to help those in desperate need as soon as possible. If you're around these locations are would like to donate, don't think too hard. HELP.

From the{ twitter }desk of @DJ_Tara:

NYC-DONATIONS! A coaliton of young people and some Haiti-based orgs are collecting supplies that are going to be shipped out tomororw and early next week. We are called OnePeopleOneHaiti (onepeopleonehaiti.org-site coming soon)

right now there are only locations in Queens and LI and East Harlem.

these items will be shipped to Haiti for Port-au-Prince. the organization REGULARLY ships items to Haiti and they have someone on the ground to receive these items. i know these people personally (well i only found out that i did yesterday. small world )

They only have 15 drums they can fill for free to ship. People are being encouraged to donate to buy more drums. Each drum costs $153 dollars. They also need volunteers (a chance to roll your sleeves up and get your hands dirty) to drop off much needed supplies and the tedious work of sorting and packing.

You can paypal your donation for a drum here: http://www.helpfch.org.com

Forgotten Children of Haiti - 17 year old charity that's been serving Haitian children

Drop off locations

QUEENS
Immaculate Conception Church
86-45 Edgerton Blvd. (179 Street)
Jamaica Estates,NY 11432
Tel: 718 - 739 - 0880

LONG ISLAND
Ryan Medical Arts Building @ Mercy Medical Center
2000 North Village Ave Suite 108
Rockville Centre, NY
Contact: 516.678.1444

EAST HARLEM
Guy Stanley Philoche rented a U-Haul truck for donation drop-off and its stationed at:

UHAUL TRUCK
1599 Lexington Ave @ the corner 102th.
Open from 8AM - 8PM
(347)942-0657

To drop off please call Guy - (347)942-0657 - so he can meet you there (his offices are upstairs from the truck). When it gets full it will be taken to Forgotten Children of Haiti in Queens.

For additional information about Forgotten Children of Haiti - Join the group on Facebook "Forgotten Children of Haiti," or visit http://www.helpfch.org.com or contact:

Marie-Noelle Esposito
marienoelle@helpfch.org

Michael Esposito
michaelesposito@helpfch.org

St John's University is also working in this coalition and they have a shipment going out TOMORROW so you'd have to drop off today. they are prepping to have more shipments so if this is most convenient for you, i encourage you to drop off there either way. they will be coordinating with the on-the-ground contact for Forgotten Children of Haiti for the receipt of these items

St. John's University

8000 Utopia Parkway
D'Angelo Center Suite 124
Jamaica, NY 11439
Attn: Nashia Whittenburg (Associate Director Multicultural Affairs)

The office will be open for drop offs M-Thursday 8:30-4:30PM and Friday 8:30-3:00PM.

If you get lost on campus please contact (718) 990-6887; If you would Shamil (who was at the meeting) directly please e-mail - shamil.rodriguez@gmail.com.

.

H E L P

2010-01-13T23:04:00.005-05:00

© Boston.com

Don't turn a blind eye. HELP.
it's easy.

DONATE via text
Type 'Yele' (Wyclef's Foundation, Yele.Org) to 501501 for a $5 donation
and/or
'Haiti' (Red Cross) to 90999 to donate $10

CALL for families in need of information
toll-free 1-888-407-4747

VOLUNTEER if you're a doctor/nurse
American Airlines is taking drs & nurses to Haiti for free.Please call 212-697-9767
*note... I got this info from twitter. Still, it's worth a call*

CARE
turn on the news. Keep an open eye. look at this nation that was in dire straits LONG before yesterday, and pray. or at least listen and show some compassion.

Its the very least you can do.

Have I mentioned SOME FOLKS?

2010-01-13T22:07:00.003-05:00

"Some Folks" with Maya Wainhaus and John Oliver photo Courtesy Rich Louissaint

You guys know Wyatt Cenac? You should.
"The Daily Show with Jon Stewart"?
"Medicine For Melancholy"?
Comedian. All around easy going smart ass.

Anywho.
Alongside Wyatt and Jessica Flores (The Brunette on the right) I co-produce a (monthly) comedy and music show at 92 Y Tribeca, called... "Some Folks with Wyatt Cenac"
We're sorta the Some Folks.

After a VERY successful show in October of last year, we're at it again on Jan 21st.
Please come.

The lineup this go around...

Comedians:
Colin Quinn
is a great American headliner, who has hosted Comedy Central's "Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn," Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update," and MTV's"Remote Control"

Musical Guest:
BRIDGET BARKAN
Singer/Songwriter/Guitarist BRIDGET BARKAN is a New York City native storyteller with an urban yet earth child, raw sense of truth, vision and a message to deliver. She resonates a provocative sound in the spirit of classic soul diva’s Etta James, Teena Marie, Janis Joplin and contemporary artists, Joss Stone, Alicia Keys, and Lauryn Hill.

http://www.myspace.com/bridgetbarkan

Guest DJ:
DJ BRAINCHILD
http://www.gordongartrellradio.com

Bridget played Rock the Block alongside HEAVy last summer. I couldn't get her personality and amazing voice out of my mind since. She's got an impressive TV/Movie reel as well.
and
EVERYONE loves Brainchild. Check out this regular podcast, Gordon Gartrell Radio (hosted by Foreign Exchange/Little Brother's Phonte) so the night should be full of laughs and good music.

JANUARY 21st @ 92 Y Tribeca
200 Hudson St.
Showtime: 9 PM
Tickets $12 / $15 at the door

come on out.

gotalotofthoughtsrollingaroundthisnogginhere

2010-01-12T01:23:00.003-05:00

first off. I haven't taken pictures of myself worth sharing in a very long time.
between over analyzing the motives behind a picture and falling out of routine/love with carrying a camera around and being that person...
i just stopped.

something clicked in my mind and yadayadayda... no pictures or desire to take any of me, which is funny since at the height of my personal documenting, I was certain I'd follow Cindy Sherman's lead...
I'm still in love with her.
and I still have ideas knocking around my head about that too.

i used click pictures like this all the time.
what for? *shrug*

anywho.

all those thoughts rolling around my head before... I might've lost track of.

point behind this pointless entry.

don't take any of this (life/love/blogs/etc) too seriously.

I'm sure you know this already.
It's really more of a reminder for myself.

Think I'll turn the comments back on.

poor chuck.

2010-01-09T01:50:00.002-05:00

yes those are my glasses.
yes his tongue is hanging out.
yes thats a snuggie.

jan 2/3 .10

2010-01-03T03:01:00.003-05:00

newyearnewyearnewyearnewyear.
new(ish)me.

i don't believe in a change in date effecting an internal change within me
but
when we collectively believe, making personal and maybe not so personal change
then
the energy is palpable and inspiring.

The idea of hard work is only this enticing in January.
Eh and when you've been out of the working loop for a long time.
Either way, i'm excited, because you (and you and you) are excited.

keep the energy alive.
i'll do what i do to keep it up as well.

Forgotten Gems

2009-12-30T00:03:00.005-05:00

LDN 2005 © Sioban Bradshaw

Happy Holidays

2009-12-26T17:30:00.002-05:00

Belated Merry Christmas.

Sending my love.
N.

i'm in a good headspace

2009-12-20T00:38:00.003-05:00

oct.2006

need to capitalize on it.

more throwback pics til i get in the mood to take new ones.

Halfway through a tune all about positivity and stuff.
keeping it easy.
light and bright.
song assignments usually work out better when you keep it sunny funny.
thinking of... money.

lemme go finish.

SB: i wanna chop my hair again.
only the cold and everyone crediting Rihanna keep me from doing it again.
oh, and that picture above. good look/good hair back then.

shrug.

28 is/was magical.

2009-12-13T00:46:00.002-05:00

ampersand circa 2006/2007

tonight, i'd gladly trade 31 for 28.
for a couple moments.
just til i tire of the pressure stress drama and concerns i placed on myself back then.
something special about that age.

i'll snap out of it soon enough, i'm sure.

"i think i know, i mean, ah yes, but it's all wrong"

2009-12-09T23:22:00.002-05:00

Belated respects paid to the late Mister Lennon.

Let's talk about Ms. Farina.

There's something special about Sandy's performance, on this and the overall soundtrack. Simple and clean. Finessed. Heartfelt and easy.
The approach completely changed my perception of the tune.

If you don't know "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" the movie, go find it and watch it under the influence of something. or nothing. It's pretty out there on its own.

Dying for some Pholourie.

2009-12-08T15:26:00.002-05:00

and macaroni pie.

and pelau.

i'm salivating over here.

So...

2009-12-08T14:32:00.002-05:00

i've been experiencing a bunch of "no duh" revelations.
about life and music and myself.
How i see myself. How i see myself in others.
Their behaviors. my behavior.
changes i'd like to foster.
really simple thoughts that we all think, but takes time to sink in and take hold.
Who knows if this is all just opening the door to understanding myself.
or.
the beginning of a real restart.
Just glad i'm maturing.
And glad i'm taking my time.
and not forcing an answer... too much. :/

we'll see.
this is a good early start to a new new year.

"you know i ain't making no money from this"

2009-12-03T23:14:00.003-05:00

dunno if this is hilarious because i know all the subjects in the skit, because this is sadly what jazz gig money talk is usually like, or the Keith Jarrett / New Reperatoire mention.

:)

Congrats and crossed fingers go out by the way to Rob Glasper and Bilal for the Urban Alternative Grammy nod. And the Same for Stefon Harris & Blackout for Best Jazz contemporary album.

oh, one more for the road...

me and my baby ridin tonight

2009-12-01T16:11:00.002-05:00

Hold (indefinitely) for:

* schweaty pictures of Ampersand.
* adventures in the land of music.
* adventures in the land of booking shows.
* holiday tales of anger, lust, disgust and redemption.
* me.

sometimes i wonder if turning my life into a fairytale would better suit this blog.

we'll see.

Love. her.

2009-11-06T17:54:00.004-05:00

Couldn't wish for a better sister.
Love you mush.

in other news,
the birthday week rages on.

Determined to make my dogs famous

2009-11-06T00:38:00.003-05:00

such a stage dog mother.

nov2nd1978

2009-11-03T22:25:00.005-05:00

31 new years.
can't believe i'm admitting it.
30 was amazing. tours. music. breakups. illness. new friends. So many blessings in disguise.
its funny how all it takes is a step to the left (or right) of your usual perspective, to find change and hope all over again.
So many well wishes. So many reminders of how far i've come.
31 meant so much to me. Mom brought me home on her 31st birthday, 3 days after mine. for a lifetime, i've held this age and who she was and what she did... how she looked and the way she acted, up to the light. I've been studying for so long, learning how to become a woman as wonderful as her.
As a kid, I always thought, like a switch turning on, on my 31st year i'd wake up with 2 small children in a foreign country, pulling pennies and keeping her kids and husbands dreams alive.

I'm not that person.

This year, my mom tearfully reminded me who i am. and all the things that in my short adult life have experienced. things and places she can never imagine or see.
she reminded me of my blessings.

all in all. i ironically could never be as strong as my mom.
So thankful to be her carbon copy.

CoCo Brown

2009-10-30T21:19:00.003-04:00

Fab new color © Lishl Rigg-Reives / De Lux Gallery

new pictures soon? who knows.

new color feels...
soft, feminine and okay with all things.
less like i have something to prove.

still thinking about the length.

i'll make this brief

2009-10-29T15:33:00.005-04:00

so HEAVy is no longer.
Big surprise? Eh, didn't think so.

Anywho. I've written this entry about 100 times already over the past 2/3 weeks, drafting it each time. Tearfully. Apologetically. Thankfully. Angrily. Spitefully.

I think brevity is best.

All in all, thank you guys for the love and support. And if you don't have the back catalog... HERE YOU GO.

HEAVy JAzzmonEY$$
HEAVy First Sessions
HEAVy Odds & Ends

odds & ends btw is Time/Make You Mine/Too Long Ago/Fire/Can't Be The Way

enjoy.

Now back to business as (un)usual.

oh, post script. please don't ask me whats next for me.

all her many faces

2009-10-28T22:07:00.004-04:00

one of these things is not like the other...

My new year is quickly approaching.
The old adage about time flying is only half true. With or without fun, it passes. Fast.

i digress.

i'm itching to change my hair. again. It's been a year since it's been cut. It's been... about a year and change that i've been a blonde. BTW, blondes don't have more fun, just more split ends and longer/more frequent hair appts.

If this all rings shallow. it isn't.
who you are and who you present yourself as, need cohesion.

I have a couple reservations. First, i know i get scissor happy when my life's upside down, and mine is in flux a bit. Not always the smartest move. While i LOVE a great haircut, i know if i chop it... growing it back (eventually) will suck all over again.
And the color. If i go dark... i'm not going back to light.

Eh. Lightbright hair might've jumped the shark. And a chipchop when you know a bit more about yourself, can only enhance and make you more confident.

Who knows.

Friday will tell.

in a Syreeta mood.

2009-10-27T15:14:00.002-04:00

Rainy day music.

buck up. buttercup.

2009-10-26T23:32:00.001-04:00

i'm letting go/coming back soon.
real soon.

word.

*kisses*

Ampersand Jones nee Nicky

Fighting to be the bigger person

2009-09-29T15:56:00.002-04:00

When the shit hits the fan, let it splatter and call it art.

i know i'm being the bigger person by holding my tongue & eventually channeling what i've got going on into something better than a few measly venty words.
Its a tough battle though.
choosing to be THE adult in a situation.
not tipping my hat too hard.

any who. like i said. when the shit hits the fan... call it a Pollock.

i want new pictures

2009-09-21T20:50:00.004-04:00

my heads up my ass

2009-09-18T23:47:00.003-04:00

This entry's pretty random and rambly. Read on with caution.

its been weeks since i've been online. like REALLY online. This pearl has lost it's luster. It bothers me though, that there are digital bits of me floating open ended, never resolving... and that this is the way of our new world.
I read an article suggesting the best way to build your online persona, for publicity reasons, is create as many personas any and everywhere... so at the least there's a digital breadcrumb trail back to you.
bull. Its the fastest way to madness.
At the height of my insanity, i did all i could to maintain all of HEAVy's portals... constantly updating information on myspace and last.fm... writing updates on the actual website we used to own. swinging by imeem... uploading to youtube and upkeeping my personal pages...
i can't even remember my routine. it feels so long ago.
and just like that, overnight, myspace became redundant and i added a facebook page and a page for HEAVy and *POP* the bubble burst. And i gave up on it all.

my dear blog, you got caught in the crossfire.

Did you guys even know i had another blog? A more personal one? That actually was more popular than this one?

I know some of you know and miss Sanderson's blog, and at times i think about resurrecting it, as it documented in real time such an amazing growth period, but it's all too personal. and i had a lot of hidden messages in it that once I closed it to public eyes, i reset the font colors and now to reopen the doors... would be a sexy mess.
a real sexy mess.

but back to the head up the butt thing.
my virtual life is suffering while i figure out and settle up in my real life.
And while i could take note and take pictures of every little thing i think and do... i won't.
i think about all the opinions and blogs (i'm sure i've said this all before) floating about. All those pointless opinons. Wordy wordy pointless opinions.
is mine really that important?

This is how I'm going out.

2009-08-31T18:11:00.002-04:00

mind is running...

2009-08-29T00:35:00.004-04:00

(c) iopenminds photography

mid thought, i get called away from the post.
i can't recall where my mind was taking me.

for now, i'll thank Cassandra of iopenminds Photography for her lovely work.
Check out her site over *here*

think it had to do something with love//life and NYc eating me whole.
we'll see if i can get back on track with that one.

Oh and about me dropping n.icky.
it's simple. too many names in interview. too much to attempt to explain.
besides
the point behind it all... never stuck. Folks still spell my name as they see fit.

so.
N.icky is Ampersand jones, will soon be... Ampersand jones is Nicky.
Get it?

Earth shattering.
I know.

Good. Night.

2009-08-16T16:21:00.006-04:00

I chose too many photos.
But considering i'm so short on words lately... maybe this'll balance the blog out.

Thank you Elizabeth Allen/ EMA Photography

great night.

Thank you Alonzo Dale/ Minority Report & Mary Prior / We Fancy.
Thank all of you how applauded / danced /felt it.

We'll let you know when we're doing it all again.

Hold {indefinitely} for:

2009-08-14T01:01:00.003-04:00

Walking giant, Joe Chambers {and a shiny N.}

thoughts on:
* Practicing the precise art of freedom.
* Practicing "some".
* Paying myself.
* Visiting your foundation.
* New configs./ new old music.

One recording down. One show to go.

Please come out Saturday if you can.

Ampy's Law in effect mode

2009-08-09T20:02:00.002-04:00

All that can go right, will... all at once.

Something is up with August.
On stage life. Off stage life. Personal obligations. Health/Love/Mental stability.
good and bad. good and bad.

I'm in high demand, and while it's all great (well most of it), it's all happening at once. Leaving me to wonder... why do good fortunes come to me in lump sums?
It's overwhelming. You follow?

then you feel like a bum if you complain about being stretched to your mental/physical limits and beyond, because its all for your betterment.

I know that what's going on in my life is also temporary. Funny thing is, i'd love to be this overwhelmed a little more often.

we'll see.

All in all, this week into next, while it might leave me limp and nearing tears, it might just be my best week in a long time.

BTW, Don't forget Aug 15. 09 Rock The Block BK.

BK/NY, Hold the Date: Agst. 15th. o9

2009-07-30T21:23:00.007-04:00

Dunno if i'd call it a return... but i'll take it anyway i can. Right?

So remember that blog I wrote about how when we, the artists, ask you to come out and support, we really mean it? Well it applies here.
Its been a year since we've played New York and it would be GREAT to see as many of you as possible.
So consider this my personal invite to you.
If you have the time... come waste some time with me.

both Case & i are looking forward to this one.
See you there.

Oh yeah, visit //rocktheblockbk.com// for more info.

Max & Abbey

2009-07-27T22:48:00.001-04:00

passing thought

2009-07-22T01:06:00.002-04:00

YUME loft party 2.16.08 (c) Lemu Coker

feel free to file this under "uhm... no duh" but i still think it needs to be said.

when we, the artist, ask you to come out to a show, its cause we sincerely need you there.

this dawned on me while watching Kathy Griffin on Bravo.
basically, she was begging folks to attend her show @ The Apollo.
While she was nervous about how the audience would react to her brand of comedy, i know a large portion of the worry also stemmed from hoping a decent crowd would show.
then came my AHA moment. No matter how big you get, the need for you guys to turn out never diminishes.
and yes, while we'd LOVE you to leave with all our merch and buy out the bar... your presence is often times more than enough.

so think about that next time you get an invite to a show from any artist (or club night promoter) you're thinking about going to support, but you're not too sure, only to talk yourself out of your plans, rationalizing it by saying... they don't need me there.

just a thought.

Belated New Years to me...

2009-07-15T00:19:00.008-04:00

i spared you the operation picture...

so i've been wrestling with this entry.
For a number of reasons.

a couple of weeks back, i'd decided in honor of my one year recovery, June 28th, i'd make a little mix and share it with you guys.
but true to form, life happened, Mikey died and the mix i'd created just started to seem silly.

the concept is/was to pull together the tunes that i listened to while on bed (ar)rest. In hindsight, it was a good summer for music listening, even though all I wanted to do was get up and out.

I sold myself on the idea and put in a little work. Then came the string of MJ parties and living life and "making up for a lost summer" and i walked away from the computer and everything since.

all this to say... I finally went back to the rough mix, and fixed some of the levels, to share with you.

PLEASE keep in mind... I'm no dj. Some bits might still be pokey, but these songs and moments pulled me though a tough time. and i'm eternally thankful for their presence.
They were my best friends and also moments of hope.
At times painful to hear... longing to sing along, even though the doctor told me not to.

so here it is.
happy. new. year.
^^clickthat^^

I'll post the songlist in the comments or something.
if you ask.

Ray Charles- ???
10cc - the Hospital Song
Minnie Riperton - I'm a Woman
Aretha Franklin - Jump to it
Happy House - Siouxsie and the Banshees
Yellow Magic Orchestra - Behind The Mask
Talking Heads - the book I read (cbs demos i think)
HEAVy- Do For You June 2008 rehearsal
Rodney Franklin - the watcher
Patrice rushen - To each His own
Freddie Hubbard feat. al Jarreau - Little Sunflower
Freddie in concert...
88 keys feat Tanya Morgan - Cuddlebums
the Sylvers-Only One Can win
garageband reference for Stutz- "Saturday stutz verse"
De La Soul - Roller Skating Jam called... who's skatin promo
Odyssey - Inside Out
Womack & womack - Baby i'm scared of you

Andrea Chung " who wan fi test?"

2009-07-03T19:34:00.006-04:00

boopsie / Andrea Chung 2008

i have a million and 5 feelings about my multicultural background, and I think this young lady shares a couple...

Those of you who are really close to me know how I was brought up an oddly nontraditional West Indian household, where our customs and standards were (and are) mainly evident during the holidays and when amongst family.
All the same, it's a part of me. A large of me, and to meet other artists with similar experiences of living in duel worlds (not quite West Indian/ not quite American) its something special.

The long preamble to say, check out Andrea Chung and her current work in progress "who wan fi test?"

Touching. Thought provoking. Well done.

this isn't the way he's supposed to go.

2009-06-25T18:58:00.003-04:00

This wasn't in the script.
sounds like a joke, but in my mind... Michael Jackson was (nearly) immortal.
And as I saw it, when he would choose to disappear, he would gracefully blow off into the sunset, re materializing as shimmery golden flakes, much like he did in Remember The Time. We'd be sad but take solace in knowing he's... *pause* this is bordering heavily on idolatry.

But he really was The King of Pop. Through the Jesus Juice scandals, rumors and lame attempts to come back... still can honor his greatness. Mannequin fascination and all.

no need to link videos. or songs. or pictures because this man and his vision is so embedded/ingrained in our culture that all it takes is us remembering him... and his genius (yes genius) is recalled.

dumbfounded and needed to let my confusion out.

they did it first.

2009-06-25T15:39:00.002-04:00

opted not for the single/hit i want candy.

Bow Wow Wow has been heavy on my mind, ever since the never ending bickering about who had the edgy sngle/dble sided 'hawk first... aka Cassiegate of weeks ago.

All that chatbout made me pull a couple of the ep's out. I forgot the band members were originally Adam Ant's... "The Ants", which would explain my instant infatuation with the sound of the rhythm section.

I miss videos (and people) being so unpretentiously artistic like this.

anywho. Long story short. Annabella and her crew sort of did it first.

no mood to be polite.

2009-06-24T21:59:00.002-04:00

Oh, you can uncross your fingers. Unfortunately things might've fallen through.
No super woop.
Maybe next time.

That's not what i'm here for.

Ever grow tired of being nice to people?

i'd get into the details but, eh, don't wanna.

i give a lot. a. lot.
and i'd like to be thanked from time to time.
we all do.
and i'd like to be treated the way i treat others,
considering that's the life lesson most parents try to instill.

i'll stop here, because i can feel thoughts being brought up that will only fall out my face sounding cryptic and not fully developed.

all in all. I'm not a nice person all the time. and i don't want to be.

by the way,
Thank YOU.

i dig it.

2009-06-20T23:16:00.004-04:00

Now I wanna re-cut this tune live.
Thanks for playing with us, Habeeb.
Check out his youtube channel. Got a great pocket.

(and thanks Cal for bringing this to my attention)

2009-06-20T01:13:00.002-04:00

lifted from The Moment /NY Times

Gotta love Brooklynites ingenuity/tenacity/ballsy nature.
Read here.

FYI

2009-06-15T22:51:00.002-04:00

www.facebook.com/ampersandjones
BAH.
:)
they got me. Facebook. *smh* So ashamed of my self promoting self.
Always willing to talk to anyone who wants to talk.
the personalized URL just makes it a little easier, I guess.

BTw, keep those fingers twisted.
no word yet.

Gimme the stage back.

2009-06-13T22:37:00.002-04:00

Ladies Love the Breaks (c) Mrflashinglights.com

Gonna need you guys to cross your fingers & collectively wish for a gig on the 5th/6th (and 12th?) to come through.
& when your well wishes make good, I'll share details.

sounds strange that i'd need assistance in getting this one gig together, but folks are busy and you know how things go for HEAVy... we get BIG opportunities at moment's notice. Sometimes we get out on that road on a wing and a prayer.

I'll hopefully have more to say soon.
*crosses fingers*

simply mesmerizing

2009-06-12T19:58:00.002-04:00

if you're prudish, don't look.

i can go on and on about how she's strong & expressive
but i rather just hit play again
& wish i could do an 8th what she does.

i need a new internet routine.

2009-06-11T22:54:00.004-04:00

My roads are well worn.
even the new paths, are feeling old.
Suggestions?
Anyone? Anyone?
Looking for new/old inspiration.
Nothing is too odd.
well... maybe.
Give it a go.

2009-06-10T21:26:00.002-04:00

yup.
still phone cleaning.

10.30.07

2009-06-09T23:58:00.003-04:00

Don't ask what you're looking at. I don't even know.

So my blackberry is dying.
In it holds an old memory card from an old phone.
while in the process of transferring files, before i get my replacement, found this.
I must've been in some stage of sleep, too tired to get up and document an idea properly.
It was october 30th of 07.

The track to that song... is still nagging at me.
and that melody wasn't used.

Its funny the writing process.
Sometimes its fast. Sometimes its sloooow.
I'm pretty certain that song will be finished someday.

The Cult of Personality has GOT to stop

2009-06-09T20:47:00.002-04:00

Am I using the term properly? Probably not.
Lemme get to my point.

How many of y'all are on Facebook? Dumb question, 'cause I'm sure it's all or most.
Well so am I.

For a long time I resisted joining, then I did but under the alias... and after about a week, I ended up deleting my account. Felt too intrusive and I worried about how I was being perceived.
Fast forward to a year later, just about when Myspace officially jumped the shark, and I rejoin. This time with my given name.
Why? for various reasons.
Mostly because I grew tired of the spam and flash and slow loading and viruses on Myspace.
Also because as an artist, you go where your support/fans are.
Also, my P.O.V. changed, and saw it for what it is. Just another site to boop around.

This is all a very lengthy lead up to what I'm trying to say.

So I log on to FB today, and I see that coming this weekend, you can personalize your URL.
You don't need me to give you an example, right?
Yeahyeahyeah Myspace already gave you that option, but something about the late addition of this, and the whole Cewebrity phenomenon, makes me cringe.

I'm tired of folks who are just folks thinking they're famous.

It gets under my skin because we're feeding into/breeding self centered brats.

I shouldn't let it get to me but it does.

Dunno if its just me growing up or if its because the pretty faces devoid of service are just blocking my lane.

Anywho. Lemme go figure out my new URL.

Hold {indefinitely} for:

2009-06-08T00:32:00.003-04:00

* Falling in love with Minnie all over again.
* Writing from the male perspective a little too well.
* Male vs. Female Hip Hop fans.
* How the meaning of "cute" changes with age.

brb.

Jack is a genius

2009-06-06T18:33:00.005-04:00

"you look cute today in your red shirt hun"

Fell in love with Jack Nicholson last night, watching The Shining @ The IFC.

Couldn't help but to watch and think... what a crazy childhood he had.
Growing up with mother, only to find out she really was his Grand, and that his sister, was his really his mother.

Odd thing to think of, I know, but somehow I connect the madness in his eyes and the factoid to the ability to be so great at what he does.

maybe the thought stems from an earlier convo with a friend about a certain artist's jacked up childhood.
Seems as though the messier your past/formative years... the better you are at what you do.

lemme stop now, cause I can feel a new topic popping up in mind.

long {entry} story short, I enjoy Jack Nicholson
and
his kind of crazy is secksy in a psychokiller sort of way.

I'mma say it again...

2009-06-01T22:48:00.004-04:00

Click here for the full flyer

Ladies Love The Breaks -
Autism Awareness Fundraiser @ Southpaw

June 4th 2009
9pm -1am / 8 with RSVP & 12 w/o
RSVP@LADIESLOVENYC.COM

GIVEAWAYS - GALORE - KILO/ ROCKSMITH/ ADIDAS RAFFLE/ BEYOND RACE MAGAZINE/ CRUNCH MEMBERSHIPS/ AND MORE!

Revive Da Live Presents:
BILAL - Special Performance
NICKY GUILAND (HEAvy)/ INVINCIBLE / LAH TERE / RAYDAR ELLIS
IGMAR THOMAS and THE CYPHER
DONWILL / HOMEBOY SANDMAN / LIKWUID

Sounds By:
DJ CHELA / DJ SPARKLES / JASMINE SOLANO / DJ NICKEE
/ BRINAPAYNE / DJ TARA / DJ TYGER LILLY

Please come out and support.

this reminds me

2009-05-31T01:20:00.002-04:00

Gangs of Kabukicho - Watanabe Katsumi

i gotta get back on track with my AMp project.

me and this lady have some things to do.

Ladies Love The Breaks: Jne 4th

2009-05-24T17:36:00.004-04:00

{click pic for details}

Jne 4th @ Southpaw
Ladies Love The Breaks : An Autism Awareness Fundraiser
$8 w/RSVP $12 w/out
125 Fifth Ave/BKNY
for more detailed details... LADIESLOVENYC.COM.

Come support.

N.

trippy.

2009-05-19T23:29:00.003-04:00

The Illusion of Sex (c) Richard Russell

interesting what the illusion above says about beauty and perception.

personal goals can be bad for your health.

2009-05-16T00:41:00.005-04:00

Sex & The City jogged my memory.
one song, Very Early/Bill Evans playing in the background leads to NSU memories
then an old classmate
and then the story below...

i remember being about 12. maybe 13. it was my final year @ BDC (Broadway Dance Center) and their Saturday morning kid's dance program. I'd reached the highest class level and was transitioning my focus from dance to music. I say all this to set up a moment.

i had a feeling that i wouldn't be returning to the program the following year. i'd closed a door in my mind, and while i found myself coasting through the final weeks of rehearsals and preparation before the annual show, i still had an odd personal goal to meet.

A challenging piece of choreography, that in hindsight really wasn't that tough but i was seriously overthinking, had become a final exam. A series of Chaînés into a jete into a triple pirouette into layout into a knee drop.
Yeah I still remember it.
& in retelling it probably all sounds like this.

maybe i wanted my {quote unquote} final moment dancing to be the best it could be.
maybe someone else in class had an easier time with the combination than me and my competitive nature took over reasoning.
maybe my teachers just had really high standards.
maybe i was being a lazy ass.
anywho.

This pass became a barometer for me.
years later, i'd pull it out randomly in my high school hallway, subway platforms, living rooms... anywhere to remind me I still had it.

but what would that prove? What was "it"?

point of the story, while setting standards and doing your best is great... sometimes the reasoning behind it all is pretty convoluted and ends up fucking with your head even more.
so be sure that what you're doing is because you really want to do it.

So very simple.

BRB

2009-05-07T01:40:00.001-04:00

mighty mighty random

2009-05-03T02:07:00.003-04:00

random shot // nov 2007 (c) Amir Ehbrahimi

so i've been wrestling with the concept of good and bad art.
high and low art.
what is good? what is worth supporting?
if i had an answer, i'd give it to you.

my opinion is a guess, and my guess is as good as yours it seems.

been thinking about:
100 acts of boldness.
100 acts of randomness.
100 acts of kindness.
just to break out of this comfort zone.
but its so toasty in my cocoon.
i fear overthinking my spontaneity.
we won't discuss that here.

i've had some adverse reactions to thoughts/comments re:love & RElationships this week.

and on the subject of couples and ampersands
i found one to cover my 2 tattoo
but
now i've grown accustomed to the faint misshapen digit on my wrist.
i'll think about that a bit more.

i miss sewing so i'll try my hand at making some simple summer dresses.

it's may. followed by jne. and hopefully will come some time to write/record.
and if not.
we'll see.

have i mentioned i/we have grown weary of the name HEAVy?
i know i haven't.

with jly/agst comes my passion project. if all goes according or close to plans.

i always say don't share with the class if nothing is for certain, and here i am, putting carts possibly before horses.

just feeling random and in need of focusing.

brb

&.

my thoughts sound like this today

2009-05-01T21:34:00.003-04:00

who am i kidding.
sounds like this everyday.

wanderlust

2009-05-01T01:08:00.002-04:00

my recent dreams feature airplanes and trains.
luggage and jetlag.
travel woes.

and then i wake up in my day to day bed.

and while its warm and welcoming
i'd gladly trade it for a drafty room somewhere else.

if i had it, i'd wake up, break the bank and book a flight to anywhere {but mexico}

disappear til my bed calls for me.

f is for friday is for favorites

2009-04-24T15:31:00.008-04:00

tour face (c) Teddycrockett

my carrying case (c) marc johns via Filthy {gonna miss you sucker}

my sister as Squeak, in The Color Purple touring cast

Brian Lara & the flyest President evAr (c) Au Courant

Yes, I am Ampersand

2009-04-21T00:01:00.008-04:00

(c) podo

This is a hard one to explain so I'll keep it short.
for now, know that
I go by a few names.
I wear many hats.
Got a bunch of talents and loves
and only one life for certain to explore them all.

the domain has changed. and so have i.

Settling down. settling up. getting into my skin.

And i speak in fragments, even though its all coming together.
And the picture before me is finally shaping up.
And i'm aware.

so there you have it.
Took me a while to accept this bastard child, Ampersand, as myself.
Not just a goofy name that gets stuck in your head.

as hands on as I am, its a wonder i decided to take hold of my own so late.

HEAVy on StateMagazine.nl

2009-04-14T22:01:00.005-04:00

(c) Tim Keen

Looks like a good one... dunno what it says yet.
{translation please?}

Go looksee here. At least the pictures are dope.

Hold for:

2009-04-13T15:51:00.003-04:00

Looking for Mister J

2009-04-11T00:56:00.003-04:00

courtesy Ampersand Jones

a clairvoyant gentleman walked up to me yesterday and told me this.

i have 2 men who love me.
one young. one old.
one good. one bad.

and the love of my life's name begins with a J.

also said I have lots of fame and money coming to me, once I get this evil eye/hex off of me.
*smirk*
we'll see.

in other news.
I'm short on updates and long on thoughts.

you know the drill.

be back after my bush bath.

2009-03-27T23:49:00.003-04:00

13.03.09 (c) Amp Jones

i took my last pitiful entry down, only because it felt borderline soapboxy
and the last thing i ever want to do is preach. or appear preachy.

tonight though, i find myself in a semiclear mindstate enough to open up and hope i'm not being judged, for showing vulnerability.

maybe its the seasonal allergies.

where am i going with this?
sometimes i just enjoy tip tapping out whatever crosses my mind.
and then i think, how unimportant my day to day goings on really are.
which is pretty much the point i was making behind the last, now drafted, blog entry.

we all get sucked into watching other peoples lives, in real time.
but.
what does knowing someone i hardly know just painted their nails do for me?
or anyone else for that manner?

i let my existentialist bullpoop take over my mind too much.
if you value something, you're the only one who knows it's true importance, right?

i partially digress.

in not practicing what i preach, i typed a twitter update about how i either need a proper vacay or more work.
constructive productive release.

and that last bit is resonating loud and clear.
constructive. productive. release.

nondestructive.

and i then am self reminded that the past [nearly a] year has been almost like an experiment.

how do i get up and get back to work after surgery?

i don't talk about all of that anymore, for a number of reasons.
first thought, my health issues aren't yours so why chitterchat about the highs and lows of *should i say it? i've never fessed up and admitted my reasons for being out to lunch... but not talking gives all things more power. SIGH. Just say it. * Fibroid surgery.

and when something is over and done, all you want to do is move forward.

but that's just it. So hungry to move upward, you end up just moving. ignoring that with time comes better perspective and a lot of ideas.

Running away. to get away.

since last june, all i've wanted was to get back on stage. it took 8/9 months to happen, but it came, and it was WONDERFUL. Everything and more than I EVER could wish for after 3 months of bed rest. *newcomers, just go looksee at the madness of June/July- September of 2008*
but
it's the after that i forgot to wish and plan.

so here i am. in a lull. when i should be back on the ball and too busy to worry about my bullshit.

i'm left to sit in the recesses of my mind. questioning. doubting. knitpicking. being all things destructive, in the name of learning who i am.

but
how can this all be destructive when Case is producing and i'm fresh off the road?

that was a purely rhetorical question.

i haven't planned or in other words, i haven't pictured any other scenario but being on tour again.

even though its time to write.
and record.
and reconfigure.
and step out of my skin, yet, return to some parts of me.

i can't believe it, but i'm afraid.

the irony is, this game and the world really is my oyster *yes, i really do speak like a 40's actress from time to time. don't like it? ignore me*
and then i get back to something said earlier.
this game is important, because i set a value, or have been made to set a value, that is much higher than i can afford. care to afford?
no one else will say it, but your opinion of me and what i create, matters.
we [artists] only say it doesn't when we need to put up a strong defense.

but then we sing songs, where we blatantly point out that we keep going, for you. the fan.

sick fuckers. we all are.

you love when we're outspoken and say all that you're secretly thinking.
then crucify us for doing it, in a way you don't like.
or accept at the time.
*easy nicky... e a s y*

spent some time today with a friend who didn't like a tune of ours too tough, 2 years ago.
then.
he admits that, 2 years later, the song knocks.

did his taste change? has mainstream music come closer to what we produced 2 years ago? does he now see a better picture of who i am as an artist, and has stopped judging me by an old picture?

i can't answer that.

but i can only hope that more of our fans think the same way.

i'm gonna cut myself off now.
like Coltrane, sometimes you gotta just drop the curtain on me, to shut me up.

The roundup pt. 1

2009-03-18T18:33:00.003-04:00

So. I'm home. and slowly reanimating.
Granted, first full day home, I did my best to get right back on schedule
but
my nose, feet and body clock had a different agenda to attend to.

I didn't have much time on this run to chit chat to myself
or take too many photos
to be honest, when on tour, I go on photography strike.
sounds odd when I have aspirations
but
In moments like these, I subscribe to experiencing them, rather than spending too much time recording them for personal posterity.
y'follow?

but here's 2 clips. From the top and bottom of the run.
Guess it gives you the viewer an arc.

Enjoy.

Dank u Dennis

2009-03-16T21:49:00.005-04:00

all courtesy Punchdouble.com

Wonder/Do

2009-03-16T20:26:00.003-04:00

11.MAr.09 @ Ancienne Belguique
Enjoy!
N.

Heavy - Wonderlove from ldtn on Vimeo.

Heavy - Do For You from ldtn on Vimeo.

13.Mar.09 Dublin

2009-03-13T09:24:00.004-04:00

09.mar/ paris (c) Mr Mass // View more here.

greetings from breezy Dublin, Ireland.

Tonight is our last show, for this run... unless we can squeeze a quick set into Gilles' show tomorrow.

I'm hopeful, but it's looking pretty tight.

I keep recording video updates and the like, but, I never have enough:
a) time; b) battery life ; c) patience to get the stuff up.

it's 1:37 now and I have to run shortly.
So, i guess I'll have to quit this attempt @ uploading a video bit.

Now that its nearly over, I'm ready to go on tour. :/
that's how it always goes.

the band sounds great, not that they didn't before, its just we're collectively reaching that place where we can take what we do further.
hit the white light faster. y'know?

Alright. Off I go.
Show.
London.
Show?
home.

kisses
N.

Mar08.09 // Zurich > Paris

2009-03-08T16:38:00.003-04:00

No sir, I AM honored. Thank you Tip.

"zurich show did was awesome.
One love. and your new cd gives us a lot of pleasure."

thank you anonymous.

So far, so great.
The travel has been a bit tough (swollen plane feet + newish boots + running to connecting gates = NIckel sized blisters. Ew.)
but being back on stage, and with such great company, makes the rough stuff SO worth it.

Last night went down just as I hoped. Without a hitch. Made people dance. Sold out of stock. Made new fans. Saw a couple old ones. Played with my fellas. Hit that spot in the show where I see no one and only can feel the music.

And I do it all again tomorrow.
:)

feels great to be back.

Nicky is AMPERSAND JONES

Challonge accepted

#PROGRESS

Comments are OFF, again.

Sidebar

Funny, she looks just like Nicole to me

Will i still love me tomorrow?

its a pattern

checklist

Who were you at 6?

Some Folks. May 27th. 2010

Bright Moments. Right Now.

Visually obsessed

*BASHBASHBASH*

woke up with a blazing vision

Ap.10.2010

NYc: SOME FOLKS April 22nd. 2010

Confession. i dread describing my music.

i can't blog anymore.

Phone Clean #4

We need to talk.

Patuscada De Ganghi

thanks, train stranger.

2.08 = 10.Thirty

SOME FOLKS 02.18 Line up + thoughts

Ni Hao

next week.

Phone clean #3

Stay. Hungry

KELIS WILL WEAR AND EAT PANDAS *

NYC: More Ways to HELP Haiti

H E L P

Have I mentioned SOME FOLKS?

gotalotofthoughtsrollingaroundthisnogginhere

poor chuck.

jan 2/3 .10

Forgotten Gems

Happy Holidays

i'm in a good headspace

28 is/was magical.

"i think i know, i mean, ah yes, but it's all wrong"

Dying for some Pholourie.

So...

"you know i ain't making no money from this"

me and my baby ridin tonight

Love. her.

Determined to make my dogs famous

nov2nd1978

CoCo Brown

i'll make this brief

all her many faces

in a Syreeta mood.

buck up. buttercup.

Fighting to be the bigger person

i want new pictures

my heads up my ass

This is how I'm going out.

mind is running...

Good. Night.

Hold {indefinitely} for:

Ampy's Law in effect mode

BK/NY, Hold the Date: Agst. 15th. o9

Max & Abbey

passing thought

Belated New Years to me...

Andrea Chung " who wan fi test?"

this isn't the way he's supposed to go.

they did it first.

no mood to be polite.

i dig it.

FYI

Gimme the stage back.

simply mesmerizing

i need a new internet routine.

10.30.07

The Cult of Personality has GOT to stop

Hold {indefinitely} for:

Jack is a genius

I'mma say it again...

this reminds me

BASHBASHBASH